What's here is good but everything is so short. I would love to see literally everything expanded on. It just seems like you get a sexual encounter and the whole thing is over. Even without pictures, it would be nice for each of the individual paths to be expanded on, I'll give an example. The Succubus path only really describes one scene and even that doesn't go into a lot of detail before it timeskips a bit, says you did a bunch of stuff with no real details then it's over. That's the bread and butter of a text game, tell me everything. Skip no detail, if you can get 30 pages of "You're a succubus doing sexy shit" get them 30 pages in. It seems like you want to get to the point and finish it but nah do the opposite. The description of how just talking felt like her pussy was great, you're giving details to flesh out the narrative to explain why she just keeps giving people the succ but then it just hits you with "she became level 10 and made a castle" and it's like "Where's the rest of the sex?" and tbh that's about how most routes felt, like I was getting a nibble of content instead of a full route. I understand you say it's a "bad end picker" but you have a lotta good here that could be expanded.
Also there were quite a few typos. Like it's a minor thing comparatively but you said you wanted feedback so I'm tryina help where I can.
Side point: If there is an image you want to use, but it doesn't fit the scene completely, why not just write a scene that fits the image you wanted to use? I just noticed a couple of times that the images had a line like "This isn't right but I wanted to use this image." I mean you're the one making the thing, if you wanna use an image you can write whatever you want to make that image fit.
A: I totally understand that complaint, and the reasoning is that my original motivation for making this game was to fit it into a contest with a deadline of april 2024, and my first game (Which itself was a spur of the moment decision and finished in two weeks. really just a "Hmm, I like writing stories... wait a minute, am i capable of making a game?!) had been finished a bit before. this game is about 60,000 words, and over 25,000 of them were written in a single week during a hyper-motivated writing period. basically what i'm saying is that the instigator behind this game was less "I really want to make a game in the future and focus on a few concentrated areas and keep the paths going", and more "There's a contest to make a sci-fi game, so i'll make one as long as I can in the time allowed, and i'll also use the cut idea to have male and female be diferent paths from my previous game". I love games that don't end where a traditional game does, and I'm even sometimes on a thread that talks about stuff like that. Hitting a place that would normally be bad end (like getting inslaved or transformed) and it continuing is awesome, and if I make a third game it'll probably just have five or so sections that keep going a lot longer, as that does seem better.
I know, I'd planned to type all the stuff into google docs (where it has the red squiggle for typos) and then paste it into the game, but it was a bit hectic even without it. The problem is I type too fast for my own good and I also usually don't look at the screen when I'm typing, I need to work on catching my typoes better.
It's because I typically brainstorm the endings/events/characters when i'm not at the computer, then I type up the endings, then I try to find the images, and if I were writing the ending with an image in mind it might feel a little more forced, but it would make things feel a bit more consistent.
Thank you for the feedback, I really appreciate it! Between this thread and f95 you've given me as much feedback as just about every other comment on both sites combined in a single post and I really appreciate it, It's always nice being noticed <3
